Learning how to love again you say? There was a time where I never thought I would be able to experience love again. I know that sounds rather dramatic, but for my 16 year old heartbroken self, it didn’t seem possible. When I fall for someone, I fall hard and deep so breakups are no walk in the park for me…not that they are for many, but I definitely have experienced that can’t eat, can’t sleep type of breakup a time or two.
Each breakup has taught me a few key things about myself, including what I did and didn’t want from a future relationship…among other things. After each breakup I would take time to myself and truly focus on all things me…which I never really did whenever I was in a relationship. After my last relationship ended, I took that time to focus on my grades, my friends, and just generally living out the college experience. It ended up being about a year and a half before I met my now fiance…but taking that time off to myself with no added distractions was so beneficial for me and it’s helped shape me into the person that I am today.
I feel like everyone needs that kind of moment of clarity in their life. It’s where I discovered my independence and learned how to be completely content without a guy…which doesn’t seem to be a thing much anymore. I’ve always heard the saying that you can’t love someone until you love yourself and I thought it was kind of silly up until the moment that I actually took that time for myself and realized that its definitely essential.
Learning How to Love Again:
- Focus on yourself – I feel like whenever you’re doing your own thing and focusing 100% on you, that’s when you will be able to completely discover yourself. Focus on your hobbies and passions and do what makes YOU happy. Also, ever heard that you usually find someone when you aren’t looking? In my case, that’s completely true. When I met my fiance, I was completely content just riding the single train for as long as possible…but after meeting him, that changed immediately.
2. Take your time – The quickest way to fall face first is to rush into another relationship or even just a fling too soon after a breakup. If you aren’t ready for that step, don’t take it because you will immensely regret it and be back at square one.3. Get out and enjoy yourself – This kind of goes along with focusing on yourself, but make sure to not stay in and sulk for too long after a breakup. Of course you’re allowed a grieving period with loads of rom-coms and icecream but letting it consume your every thought gets old quickly. I am sure your single friends will be stoked to take you out for a night on the town or enjoy a girls night in and help your forget about your ex.
4. Know what you want from your next relationship – I am sure your exes have taught you everything you don’t want from your future relationships, but keep that in mind when you decide you’re ready to get back in the game.
5. Keep an open mind – Don’t let yourself get all doom and gloom throughout the whole process. Just know that it will take time and your very next date may not be your future husband, but you will find your perfect person in due time.
Hopefully no one is experiencing heartbreak right now but if you are, I hope that you take some of these tips into consideration. Do you have any tips for learning how to love again? Feel free to let me know down in the comments.
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